The inevitable truths of a rancher's wife

As I venture into my fifth year here at the ranch, I have learned that there are so inescapable, unavoidable truths that go on here at the ranch.  They're not bad, and they're not all good, they just are. And if you're going to make it in this mucky, beautiful, exhausting and verdant business as a rancher's wife... you better tighten your chaps and deal with them!



The sun will always rise too early, and as hard as he tries, your ranching husband cannot manage to get out the door without some assistance from you.

If it is spring and you have your garden just right, you will find a cow or ten making their mark in it no later than May.  This has been the case every year for the last 5!

There is never a day when there isn't laundry to be soaked, Oxy clean to be bought and floors to sweep.   ( Hoag adamantly disagrees with this since he re-wears his jeans... although the rest of his clothes manage to be clean and waiting for him each morning)

If you are pregnant, you will undoubtedly use mother nature's outdoor ladies room more often than your own.  There is no time for potty breaks when you're at the pens with two determined cowboys wanting to get work done.  It's amazing what good hiding places you can find and how your modesty with the cows just goes right out the proverbial window!

You spend a lot of your days looking at this.

You will never have clean carpets again, dog or not.  Maui is the best dog in the whole world but one trick we've yet to master is wiping our paws before we come in the house.  Again, thank God for Oxy Clean.


If there is an electric fence that you Don't want the cattle going through, they'll go through it. It wont matter, either, that it's hot.  Then, they'll go back and forth, back and forth, until their legs look like they're wrapped in mummy bandages and those "heavy duty" fence posts you put in are all snapped like toothpicks.

If you don't have cold beer you  better have good whiskey.

You will learn how to "doctor" all your animals after the first year.  One of the beauties of having a vet room and teaching vets is they're happy to not make the trek out to your house for something as easy as bute, antibiotics or achy hooves.  Our cat swallowing a sewing needle was a little out of my realm, I must say. 

Nothing will make you happier or laugh harder than watching baby calves run at full speed with their tails in the air like they might just fly.  It's just magic